I was babysitting last night and had got the kids to bed and then just sat in silence... I asked God to just speak to me and show me his face. WOW! That's the only way I know to put it. As I sat there and just ask him to break me I began to cry. In the stillness of my heart I was reminded of everything that I have been blessed with and just how merciful our God is. Sometimes the things of this world get in the way and we seem to forget what we have. I was also reminded that I may not always understand the things of life, but that I have a savior who loves me, who is alive, and who is always here for me.

Spiritual Growth - The Pathway of Suffering

Job was a servant of the Lord and the devil desired to have evil things to happen to him so that his character would be brought down. Then God, in His wisdom and own purpose, allowed Satan to do certain things to Job that that he desired to do. I have realized that God allowed those things to happen to Job to help him deepen his faith, to help him define his character, and to help him know God in a more personal way. I also know even though God allowed these things to happen to Job to test him, he set limits on Satan as to how far he could go to bring evil into Job’s life.
We may not always like what is happening, it may be hurtful, harmful, and destructive... all these things and more, but God always puts a limit on them, and has a purpose for allowing them to happen. And that purpose always is that ultimately as we go through things and learn how to deal with them, it's that we come out on the other side stronger and more Christ-like, having a new desire for purity and Godliness, and having new experiences to help us minister to the needs of others who are going through the same things (2 Corinthians 1:3-5).
In knowing that everything is all God’s will and that he has allowed these things to happen to in the first place, and that God won’t test us past our limit, then we have to get through and feel all of the pain. Yea, we're going to cry, pray, ask why, get angry, feel abused, feel confused, experience loss and lost ness... lose sleep, and a million possible other feelings that we might feel and experience during these times. And all this with the ultimate goal that we will be purified, and the meaningless things in life will be taken away so that the brightness and Glory of God will shine in us that much more brightly (Job 23:10).
We need to try and take each painful situation and view it as a "wake-up call". God may be calling us to start growing inwardly, spiritually, in dimensions of holiness, commitment and service. Oftentimes, the means of this growth is the pathway of suffering (Job 1:20-22).
Job's first response was to cry out in grief, but then to immediately fall down on the ground in worship, and focus his attention on God. He took an attitude of submission to the sovereign will of God. He sat in silence for 7 days, saying nothing, meditating and rehearsing all the traumatic events that had just happened to him. During these times we need to focus our attention like we never have before on the Person of God...in repentance, and humble submission, seeking a new relationship of closeness to Jesus Christ, calling out to Him for mercy. Before I read Job I was afraid and felt uncomfortable with sharing with other people what was going on and what I was feeling inside. From this I have learned that it is ok for us to talk to the people we trust most and not have to worry about keeping it to ourself. Job talked about what was going on with his most trusted friends. He talked to them about his feelings, doubts, and sadness. Even though his friends didn’t really "get it" he talked over everything. He expressed all of his feelings of sadness and hopelessness that was in his heart... all throughout the book of Job you see this... him putting into words all the pain that was inside his own heart... not hiding it (Job 7:11).
With this we need to strive to be all that we can be for our Father, bringing GLORY to his name and sharing what he has given us to others.

My Twin... My Special Friend

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Two are better thatn one... If one falls down his friend can help him up.

Having a twin is a special gift from God. I wouldn't trade it for nothing. Melanie and I have shared just about every moment of our life together and have aways been there for each other. We are alike in many ways, but yet we are a lot different in ways too. I am good at things that she isn't too good at and Melanie is good at different things that I'm not as good at. Sometimes we get to thinking that one is better than the other, but then we remind each other that if we both were good at the same things then we wouldn't need each other. God has given Melanie to me for a special purpose and I want nothing more than to live out that purpose. Having a twin comes with a special relationship that I couldn't ever have with anyone else. The relationship that we share is something that can't be explained. If one of us is going through a hard time then, we are there to help the other through it. Melanie has always been there for me and gives me someone to talk to when no one else is around. If I see her hurting inside then I feel her hurt. Now, of course we fight. All brothers and sisters fight, but in the end we make up. Later we think back over the things that we fight about and usually end up laughing over it. I am so blessed to have a friend like Melanie and having her to share my life with. No one could ever replace her.

Thanks Melanie for everything! Thanks for being there and for sharing every moment with me... I wouldn't want to share it with anyone else. I love ya girl!

Struggles

I was reading in a magazine the other day and came to an article "The Cocoon and The Butterfly". The article was about a man who found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force it's body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could go no farther. So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time. Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life struggling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly. What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that by restricting the cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to to get through the tiny opening were God's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings, so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved it's freedom from the cocoon. Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If God allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. And we could never fly.